My New Teacher
写作要求
请根据下面的提示写一篇题为My New English Teacher的短文，可做适当发挥。
外貌和性格:苗条、高个、年轻、热情、有活力
授课特点:讲授清楚，有耐心，课堂生动活泼，严格要求并表扬、鼓励我们，同学们都积极参与英语课堂
学生的评价:只教我们几个星期，英语进步大，最受我们欢迎的老师
注意：可适当增加细节，词数在100词左右。
思路点拨
1. 确定体裁、时态、人称。
本篇习作以表格的形式提供信息，要求写一篇以记叙新老师的情况，属于人物介绍类的写作。文章的内容为介绍一位新的英语老师，由于是对现任教师现阶段情况的描写，所以本文应使用一般现在时态。人称使用第三人称，因为是以问对方时需要使用第二人称。
2. 围绕话题与所给出要点积极思考，构思文章轮廓。
写作要求当中已经给出信中所涉及的具体要点，结构分明。第一点要描写英语老师的外貌和性格特点。第二，介绍英语老师的工作方面。第三，介绍同学们对英语老师的评价。
3. 选择适当的词汇和句式。
习作要点已经清晰列出，注意不能逐句翻译，要在句与句之间加上表示上下文承接的词句，使文章更有连贯性和逻辑性。
人物介绍类的文章常用的词汇和表达有：
1. 外貌类：tall, short, thin, brown eyes，straight nose，shining eyes, beautiful, pretty, handsome, lovely, attractive, slim, etc. 性格类：cute，optimistic, knowledgeable, easy-going, outgoing, selfless, gentle, humorous, active, quiet, strict, patient, kind-hearted, determined, respectful.
2. She is a lovely girl, with a round face, big eyes, white teeth and long wavy hair.
3. He is tall and thin and is wearing a pair of thick glasses.
4. His favorite sport is …
5. be good at/ do well in …
6. He was strict with everybody and in everything he did.
习作初稿
My New English Teacher
This term we have a young woman English teacher. Her name is Wang Fang. She has left a very good impression on me. She is tall and slim. She is enthusiastic and full of energy. Now I know that she is a really wonderful teacher. She explains everything clearly and is very patient with us. She teaches the lessons are lively and interesting. Although she is strict with us, but she always praises us when we make progress and encourages us and avoids making us feel embarrassed even when we make mistakes, so every student is very active in her class.
So far, Mrs. Wang has taught us for only several weeks, and we have all made great progress in English. She has become the most popular teacher with all of the students in our class!
Wang Lin
教师点评
1. 本篇习作格式规范，条理清晰，涵盖了写作要求当中的全部要点，基本按照题目要求的几个方面写作。
2. 能够使用and，so，although，when等表示连接的词语，使文章较有连贯性。
3. 文章中还存在一些不足之处：
(1) She has left a very good first impression on me.一句所在位置不太合适，与这一部分的描写不相符，因为这部分主要描写英语老师的外貌。
（2）Although she is strict with us, but she always praises us when we make progress and encourages us and avoids making us feel embarrassed even when we make mistakes, so every student is very active in her class. 此句中although一词本身即含有“尽管……但是……”的含义，因此后面不需要再使用but。
(3) She teaches the lessons are lively and interesting. 此句属于汉语是式的英语，不符合英语表达习惯，应该改为 The lessons she teaches are lively and interesting.
(4) So far, Mrs. Wang has taught us for only two weeks, and we have all made great progress in English.此句中前一分句有时态错误，此处表达的是“动作从过去发生到现在一直在进行着，而且还会继续下去，所以用现在完成进行时态更恰当。此句可改为So far, Mrs. Wang has been teaching us for only two weeks, and we have all made great progress in English.
(4) 另外，此篇习作中简单句式用得太多，建议可将个别句式整合成复合句。如：①This term we have a young woman English teacher. Her name is Wang Fang.可以改成一个含定语从句的复合句：This term we have a young woman English teacher whose name is Wang Fang.
②She is tall and slim. She is enthusiastic and full of energy.可以改为并列句：She is tall, slim, enthusiastic and full of energy.